You might have had this happen to you.

Perhaps your relationship just ended, or you’ve lost your job, or you failed to pass an exam, and now you’re simply exhausted from everyday life.

And just when you needed your ‘self’ to be at its best, you got tripped by stress, unhappiness, distraction and dissatisfaction.

Let’s face it – things are scaring the wits out of you.

Horrible, right?

But this is real. Suffering is real.

We all suffer – one way or another.

And to relieve that suffering, we turn to smoking, sex, shopping, food, drugs, alcohol and all that.

I’ll tell you what – it won’t work all the time.

Why?

Because those are nothing but sensual pleasures, and sensual pleasures are just momentary.

One can’t rely on those for a happier and stress-free life in the long run.

Now I know it may sound too clichéd to you but the only salve to this is ‘self-compassion.’

Self-compassion a great practice that allows us to be in charge of our life. Not to mention, it helps us embrace who we are or what situation we’re in – easing our pain of suffering.

However, not many realize that their self-compassion works just like a muscle – the more you use it, the more it grows.

Feeling stressed, disappointed, anxious, depressed, or worried? Follow these 4 easy steps to develop self-compassion in you.

1. Notice

You’re chock full of things you’re not even aware of. So a good place to start with building self-compassion is by noticing what’s happening in your body and mind at this moment. Take a moment to turn inward and notice everything that’s happening inside you. Stop making mountains out of molehills over your simple mistakes. Don’t beat yourself up for not reaching that perfect standard the so-called society has set forth. The idea is to stop reacting and start noticing the reality within yourself with an equanimous state of mind.

2. Accept

Whatever you resist persists, whatever you accept changes. So, tell yourself that it’s perfectly okay to feel what you’re feeling right now. Maybe you feel bad about your body, or your parents or your grades – no matter what the situation is, accept it. Let yourself feel the pain. Most people go through life without really living it. All because they don’t have the courage to accept who they are and what they feel. We usually tend to see the negative side of the problems. Wise people, however, are glad to have problems in their life. You know why? Because they know they can excel with it.

3. Comfort

Nothing in this world is more important than how you think and feel about yourself. How would you treat your friend who is suffering? How would you treat your child who is in severe pain? You’d comfort them, wouldn’t you? That’s exactly what you’re supposed to do with yourself. Once you do that, you won’t need any attention and validation from others and no longer will your life be an emotional rollercoaster. A sense of compassion will grow out of you making you less needy. Not because you feel sorry for yourself, but because you realize how temporary and unworthy your pain has always been.

4. Smile

If you’ve reached till here, congratulations! It’s time to smile now. You’ve successfully bidden farewell to your suffering. Spread the good vibes around. Wish your pain well for it taught you lessons nobody else ever could. Give it love. Wish it happiness. Forget about frustration – once you raise and keep up with your self-compassion – you wouldn’t even feel bad about yourself. You aren’t your worst enemy anymore – you are your best friend – you are your best lover – and you are your own master. So keep smiling.

Hold on! I know all this seems so easy to say, but very hard to get on with. But for sure with practice, practice and a lot of practice –  nothing is impossible to achieve. What do you say? The world is already filled with too much of hate and negativity. It’s about time we became kind to ourselves.